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Clarifying Non-normative Pornography And Alternative Behaviors In BDSM
Mar 21, 2024
To talk about BDSM, it is first interesting to talk about non-normative erotic practices. Non-normative or alternative erotic practices are those that go beyond what is understood by "conventional sex": everything that is not penetration and stimulation of the genitals through masturbation or oral sex. Historically, alternative erotic practices have been considered perversions, as they were called at the beginning of the 20th century. Today they are called paraphilias in medical terms, not without a certain negative connotation. Let's clarify that the fact of feeling attraction or excitement for things or practices that go beyond what is understood as usual has nothing wrong per se. It becomes a problem when they cause significant discomfort to themselves or others.
Kink is an umbrella term that encompasses non-normative sexual practices. An example of this could be fetishisms. Fetishism: It is sexual attraction to a part of the body that is not considered sexual or to objects. For example, foot fetishism or shoe fetishism, although there are many more. Within the kink world, there are countless practices. Some examples could be spanking, tickling, the use of certain clothing such as latex, golden showers and games with body fluids, pet play that consists of pretending to be an animal (cat, dog, horse...), exhibitionism games in places intended for it or in other places, suffocation games, role plays, dominance and submission games... to name a few. Of all these practices, there are some that are related to BDSM and others that are not.
BDSM. It includes practices in which there is a transfer of power by one of the parties involved, while the other party exercises said power. They are the acronyms for:
1. Bondage. Bondage refers to practices that involve restrictions of movement through ropes, handcuffs, chains, etc.
2. Domination and discipline Games in which one of the people obtains pleasure through dominating another or others through orders.
3. Sadism. Pleasure is obtained by inflicting pain on another person. All these practices, especially those that involve pain, have been previously agreed upon and desired by all parties.
4. Submission. In submission, pleasure is obtained from the fact of obeying another person.
5. Masochism. Pleasure in receiving pain.
In this way, it could be said that kink includes BDSM in addition to other alternative practices, being a broader umbrella term. BDSM would specifically refer to power transfer practices.
As we said before, we start from the basis that all the people involved want this type of practice. For this reason, in BDSM, it is important to speak of consensus in the practices that are carried out, and there are different consensus systems. One of them, the first that emerged and spread, was known as SSC: that practices are safe, sensible, and consensual. Safe in terms of having certain ideas or bases about what we are doing as well as risk prevention; understanding by sensible that all the people involved have full decision-making capacity; avoiding the use of drugs, alcohol, or any substance that alters the differentiation between fantasy and reality; and consensus has to do with all parties agreeing on what practices will be carried out, with what intensity, and being able to stop tConsensus is what differentiates and distances BDSM from situations of non-agreed violence, such as abuse or gender violence, since it occurs at a specific time and situation, with total power on the part of the submissive person to stop everything. at the time you want.
In order to be able to stop the practice immediately at any time, what is known as the "safe word" is usually established in advance. The safety word is a word agreed upon by both parties, short, sonorous, and sometimes decontextualized ("stop" or "red", for example) that serves to stop the practice that is being carried out in the event of any type of discomfort.
There are other consensus systems besides the SSC that are based on other foundations and each person can choose what they think best suits their practice. The pleasure obtained from these practices can be associated with something genital but it does not have to be. There are people who find sexual pleasure, for example, in spanking or being spanked without this necessarily leading to more genital practices.
In short, kink and BDSM practices are diverse ways of experiencing sexuality, as valid as any other. They are not disorders or something problematic as long as they are lived in a positive way, without harming ourselves or other people and as long as everything is safe and consensual. Feeling attraction and performing this type of practice is neither better nor worse than other sexualities. Each person is a world and the wonderful thing about this is in knowing ourselves and our peculiarities and being able to share them with people with similar tastes to ours.
What do non-normative or alternative sexual practices encompass?
Kink is an umbrella term that encompasses non-normative sexual practices. An example of this could be fetishisms. Fetishism: It is sexual attraction to a part of the body that is not considered sexual or to objects. For example, foot fetishism or shoe fetishism, although there are many more. Within the kink world, there are countless practices. Some examples could be spanking, tickling, the use of certain clothing such as latex, golden showers and games with body fluids, pet play that consists of pretending to be an animal (cat, dog, horse...), exhibitionism games in places intended for it or in other places, suffocation games, role plays, dominance and submission games... to name a few. Of all these practices, there are some that are related to BDSM and others that are not.
BDSM. It includes practices in which there is a transfer of power by one of the parties involved, while the other party exercises said power. They are the acronyms for:
1. Bondage. Bondage refers to practices that involve restrictions of movement through ropes, handcuffs, chains, etc.
2. Domination and discipline Games in which one of the people obtains pleasure through dominating another or others through orders.
3. Sadism. Pleasure is obtained by inflicting pain on another person. All these practices, especially those that involve pain, have been previously agreed upon and desired by all parties.
4. Submission. In submission, pleasure is obtained from the fact of obeying another person.
5. Masochism. Pleasure in receiving pain.
In this way, it could be said that kink includes BDSM in addition to other alternative practices, being a broader umbrella term. BDSM would specifically refer to power transfer practices.
As we said before, we start from the basis that all the people involved want this type of practice. For this reason, in BDSM, it is important to speak of consensus in the practices that are carried out, and there are different consensus systems. One of them, the first that emerged and spread, was known as SSC: that practices are safe, sensible, and consensual. Safe in terms of having certain ideas or bases about what we are doing as well as risk prevention; understanding by sensible that all the people involved have full decision-making capacity; avoiding the use of drugs, alcohol, or any substance that alters the differentiation between fantasy and reality; and consensus has to do with all parties agreeing on what practices will be carried out, with what intensity, and being able to stop tConsensus is what differentiates and distances BDSM from situations of non-agreed violence, such as abuse or gender violence, since it occurs at a specific time and situation, with total power on the part of the submissive person to stop everything. at the time you want.
In order to be able to stop the practice immediately at any time, what is known as the "safe word" is usually established in advance. The safety word is a word agreed upon by both parties, short, sonorous, and sometimes decontextualized ("stop" or "red", for example) that serves to stop the practice that is being carried out in the event of any type of discomfort.
There are other consensus systems besides the SSC that are based on other foundations and each person can choose what they think best suits their practice. The pleasure obtained from these practices can be associated with something genital but it does not have to be. There are people who find sexual pleasure, for example, in spanking or being spanked without this necessarily leading to more genital practices.
In short, kink and BDSM practices are diverse ways of experiencing sexuality, as valid as any other. They are not disorders or something problematic as long as they are lived in a positive way, without harming ourselves or other people and as long as everything is safe and consensual. Feeling attraction and performing this type of practice is neither better nor worse than other sexualities. Each person is a world and the wonderful thing about this is in knowing ourselves and our peculiarities and being able to share them with people with similar tastes to ours.
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